How to be a Disability Advocate

I'm a public speaker.

For the last 3 or 4 years, I've found myself being asked to speak at more and more conventions on the topic of my understanding of the Americans with Disabilities Act (the ADA) and on Disability Advocacy.

Now, let's get one thing abundantly clear: I am not an expert. I'm an advocate. 

For a little over a year now, I've been a panelist at a Salt Lake Comic Con and Salt Lake FanX panel called "Disabilities in Pop Culture". At Salt Lake Comic Con 2015, I moderated the panel and curated a special video for it from some members of the HitRECord community about one of our community members who lives with disability, but does not allow it to limit her art.

I've been called an expert several times. Once again: I am not an expert. 

Why? I never want to believe that I know all there is to know. Once you get caught in that falsehood, you stop listening and start talking in a vacuum. Advocates cannot do that. The first thing I want to teach you is this: LISTEN.

"But shouldn't an advocate be the voice for the voiceless? Aren't advocates supposed to be loud?" 

I get this all the time. The short answer is yes; an advocate needs to be heard. The longer answer is that an advocate needs to be educated about what they are advocating for - and disability is a HUGE thing to try to be educated on. Disabilities run a broad range. Being disabled doesn't necessarily mean that you can speak for everyone else. Being an advocate doesn't even mean you get to do that. Being an advocate means that you try to learn everything you can so that when others need your help, your voice, your guidance... you're prepared. This is going to require a lot of listening. 

Now, when I say "listening", I do not necessarily mean that in a literal sense. The ability to hear does not limit your ability to listen. 

I put an emphasis there because I want to point out that I am... let's see if you can guess... not an expert. I make mistakes. I try to learn from them. Many years ago, I realized that my own disability advocacy had a big blind spot: The Deaf and Hard of Hearing Community. If you don't already know this about me, I have an obsession with the advancement of prosthetics. It's fascinating to me. When I learned about the Cochlear Implant, I learned that I didn't know nearly as much as I thought I did. I learned that something viewed by part of the population as a benefit or a tool for overcoming adversity can be viewed by another part of the population as an oppressive hinderance. Confusion overwhelmed me. My own ASL abilities are lacking. I've attempted to learn on 5 separate occasions from 5 separate instructors. My ASL is still terrible. 

As you can guess, this made listening pretty difficult. Luckily, difficult does not equate to impossible. I delved into books and film looking for answers and understanding. "Sound and Fury" (2000) and "Children of a Lesser God" (1986) left me feeling sick to my stomach. Here I was, telling people how prosthetics are so amazing... completely oblivious to how callous and cruel and, ultimately, ill-informed I was. To make matters even worse, I had never even attempted to secure an ASL translator for my events. 

You will make mistakes. 

Don't beat yourself up over them. Learn from them. Study and volunteer for any opportunity that grants you greater understanding. I told you felt pretty sick about my lack of understanding of the Deaf Community. The powerful voice in my head - the one that was always so determined to shout out loud for those who couldn't be heard? That voice shut up for a bit. Self doubt rushed in and I refused to speak at the next 2 events to contact me. If my own direct experiences with my disability and my with my daughter's disability hadn't shaken me back into action, I may well have given up all together. 

This is where I finally learned the most important facet of my advocacy. You ready? 

It's okay that I am not an expert. 

I'm still learning. I will be learning until the day that I die. That's a good thing. It keeps me listening. It keeps me hungry for a perspective beyond my own. It keeps me humble. It keeps me motivated. 

I am not an expert; I am an advocate.

I hope beyond hope that this inspires you to start today. Don't wait until you know more. Dive in. There are places you can help; things you can do. Start by being honest about what you do know and what you do not know. Avoid assumptions.


"Can I be a Disability Advocate if I'm disabled?" 

Hell yes. Most of the advocates I know face their own disabilities or the disabilities of their loved ones every single day. Besides, who gets to tell you that you can't? If someone tries, they know less than you do. Shake it off and find out what you can do. Maybe what you can do is different than what someone else can do. You know what? That's totally fine. 

"Where can I start?" 

Let's break down your advocacy into three camps: 

1. Increasing knowledge 

2. Increasing awareness 

3. Public service

1. Increasing knowledge: What do you know about disability? What questions do you have? Are you familiar with the ADA? Choose what you want to learn about. Many colleges offer courses on disability. My Study of Disabilities course was one of my favorite classes. If you aren't familiar with the ADA, go to ADA.gov and get familiar. It's of the utmost importance and it will lead you
to ask questions that will tell you where to study next. After you're familiar with the ADA, I recommend this book to give you an alternate view of the legislation:

Penn & Teller also did an episode of their show,

"Bull$#*T" all about the ADA. 

If you're easily offended, don't watch it.

If you're not, it's worth watching.

2. Increasing awareness: Are the groups you belong to ADA compliant? Are they readily accessible and open to including those within the disability communities? How can you help to make your school or work a better place for differently abled people? Does your college have a Disability Awareness week? If not, talk to the student government and see what can be done. Are there any local groups you can volunteer with? Get involved. Once you're involved, you'll know what it is you want to say with that powerful voice of yours. 

3. Public Service: Learn ASL. Offer to help local event organizers make their events more disability friendly. If you see someone struggling, be willing and open to helping them - but don't force your help on anyone. Get in touch with your local Special Olympics group and help them fundraise! The Special Olympics fundraiser I organized was one of the highlights of my entire life. I'll never forget it as long as I live. 

Have more questions?

Don't hesitate to ask.

(It's kind of what I do.)

Silent Protagonist: Why I Banned Gaming Headsets in my Home

The voice comes from a child. Can’t be much older than 8 or 9. The words chosen imply a parent or older sibling has been less than diligent in watching their words around this kid. Maybe.

Maybe it’s not that at all. Maybe this kid is just a gamer who has spent too much time listening to what other gamers say on their headsets.

In the end, it doesn’t matter. The result is the same. My daughter looks at me, I nod, she turns the volume all the way down and moves like the stealthy Siren she plays to turn on our playlist of alternate gaming songs. We’re playing Borderlands 2, so the list includes some Cage the Elephant, The Heavy (of course), Phantom Planet, Muse, and Metric. The list also includes some NAS. Contradictory? Not at all.

I’m not offended by the language. If we were playing TowerFall Ascension or Smash Bros, I could easily out curse this child. I am no saint. So no, it’s not the language. I’m offended by the ignorance.

A few years ago I was the Artist in Residency at an animal sanctuary in Costa Rica. Within the first week, the guys in their early 20s pegged me for a gamer. During the hottest, most unworkable hours of the day, I’d slip into the office and take a look at their rigs. My first attempt to watch them play was cut shorter than I had hoped. Online co-op. No headsets. Nevertheless, the vernacular of too many hours absorbing the negativity of other players came shining through. I won’t repeat exactly what was said, but I will say that it included violent threats including rape and several homophobic remarks. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement.

Even gamers living Costa Rica’s “Pura Vida” can’t escape it. Damn. He sees my smile fade and tries to make things better. “I’m not like that in real life. It’s just a game. I would never do anything like that. You get that, right?” If the words are meaningless to you, why do you need to inflict them on someone else? Why do you use them? You are eliciting a response. You are using hate to get someone to feel or think or respond the way you want when you behave like that over a mic. It had become so much a part of the gaming experience for these men that they continued the behavior with or without the headset. It’s the worst type of manipulative ignorance, and these guys didn’t even register that they were participating in it.

It doesn’t have to be like this. I have frequent, vivid dreams about gaming with a team of strangers communicating over a simple headphone and microphone setup. Someone asks for cover. I respond that my Phaselock is at the ready if they need help. The game is the thing. We work together in harmony to take down Terramorphous. I don’t even bother to collect any of the valuable loot; I just restock my ammo and wait as the rest of the team runs around like kids in an unattended GameStop.

When I wake, I mourn the loss of the dream. Hope dictates that I turn on the console and get back in there. What if things changed while I was sleeping? Sound is up. I start a game and leave it open for online players. The first person to join insists upon duping guns. Booted. Play or don’t play. I don’t have time for that nonsense. The second to join is on a headset. He can see I’m not. His Psycho and my Siren make short work of the path to Tiny Tina’s. He asks if I have DLC. I type back a reply, “Yeah. I’ve got all my maps.” He transports us to Tina’s DLC and moments later, another player joins. Assassin. Perfect for this campaign. I’m optimistic. Then she speaks. I freeze. My heart pleads with my current companion to just be cool. He’s not. He laughs first. Then it’s the standard “Get your girlfriend off the mic.” I rush a group of skeletons to try to keep them focused. I Phaselock one just as it nears the Assassin and I toss a singularity grenade toward the group approaching the Psycho. She starts in at him about how she’s no one’s girlfriend. He starts in with the ignorant name calling. He’s down just as my Phaselock is ready for another go. I’d rather not save him. I’d rather go back to the dream world. I back out to the main menu and start anew, offline.

This is why I don’t own a headset. This isn’t going to happen to my daughters. They get enough of that crap at school. Gaming is a way to relax and get away from the world for a bit. The archaic sexism streaming through online play isn’t welcome. There’s effort being made by a small group of stubborn, pure-hearted players to stop this type of behavior, but we need more people to step up and recognize that it needs to stop now. Studios are recognizing this, too. Recently, Riot has been applauded for their efforts to reward LoL (League of Legends) players who keep pristine records. Those penalized for negative behavior do not receive the sudden and surprising rewards Riot is doling out. I think it’s brilliant. I also think they shouldn’t have to come up with incentives to keep people decent.

Let’s all just take a moment to be a little more aware of the way we treat people. Are we perpetuating nonsense that we don’t even believe in? It can start and stop with us. Please help me make the dream a reality. I’d really love to own a headset.

I wrote this article for LordoftheLaserSword.com during Spring of 2015 after I spoke as a panelist at Salt Lake Comic Con's Fan X in January 2015 with some of the writers for the site. I posted it here after they took their site down. 

METRIC at The Depot - SLC, Utah 2.17.2016

My husband & I saw Metric play at The Depot 

in downtown Salt Lake City, Utah

on February 17, 2016

"The Shade" was my favorite performance of the night

HitRECord - fantastic Recorders you should be following

I've been a part of the HitRECord.org family for nearly 2 years now. I've been a paid contributor and I've worked on all sorts of independent projects like the HROYR (HitRECord on Your Radio) Podcast. At the end of March, I'll be joining a couple of my fellow Recorders in presenting a panel all about what we do as members of HitRECord at Salt Lake Comic Con's FanX 2016.

Maybe that's what brought you to this article. Either way, here's a list of Recorders you'll want to follow.

HitRECord Wonders of the World

ScarletAdrianne

Scarlet is a phenomenal visual artist

You'll definitely want her drawing on your dashboard 

Check out her record, "Cloudy head"

Kathleen Payton

This soulful songstress will get stuck on you 

You'll find yourself hearing her voice in your heart

I recommend her record, "Modern Romance"

Kendall

Speaking of talented female musicians...

Listen to Kendall's remix of "Cold Wind Partial Collab" 

& just try to tell me it doesn't sound like it belongs in the game "Transistor"

YESH_ARTIST

Yesh is new to the site 

but I am entirely certain that 

Yesh is not new to art

You need to see "The Eden's Garden"

ordinaryfox

Visual fantasy 

Check out "Cabin Fever"

Kerrnie

Woodwind Goddess

I was lucky enough to see Kerrnie play live last summer

Listen to her sultry sax in "Torch Song: Alto SAX Mix Reference"

Patasha 

What does Patasha do? 

What DOESN'T Patasha do? 

Fall into any of her stop-motion records

mezcraft

Paper quiller extraordinaire

My personal favorite is "Quiller Bird"

DevinLevi 

Carve some time out for this adorable looper

Check out his JoeRud remix, "Let's Make Stuff"

pixel_pilgrim

Change gears 

Explore your folk music leanings

Listen to "Must Love Harry Potter" 

ppeppina

I have no words for ppeppina

Just listen to "Crashing - tiny song"

Liz Smalls

Jaqueline of all trades 

Try to respond to 3 of her challenges

JaeForever

We drove to the season 2 premiere party in LA 

As the sun dropped down and out of sight, 

"2Worlds The Dark 2.0" came up on my CD

I repeat that drive often in my dreams

ericacoburn

Visual art with a deep understanding of the human form 

I recommend "Lena & Matze" 

Julz

Elite, not elitist

Photography you have to see to understand

View "Blunder" 

humunkulus

Crank your best speakers

for "When the Wind Blows Cold"

Loddi 

Best animator

Seriously 

Check out "Hourlass- Costume Remix" 

Mottelz 

Readers will become addicted

Read it all

Robo_J

Your best earbuds 

NOW

"Weapon (2016 Remix)"

RoddyG

Go through all of her records

You'll come out knowing exactly what HitRECord is

WunderBoy

"The Flatuling"

You'll thank me later

epocadofim

A living, breathing

university level course in visual art

andyramone

One of the hardest working men in our community

"School Yard Rap Bass"

Dmitriy_Tolkunov

Our unofficial mascot 

Watch "Third of a Second: Success Story"

CameronSmith

The BEST Recorder to follow if you want to learn about Recorders

Top notch profiles on a great number of artists

LydiaSaskia

Looking for a head strong feminist? 

Look no further

SAM-urai

Taking origami to the next level 

I could go on forever.

If you're here because of 

the FanX presentation, 

my hitRECord name is 

PontiusPython 

Koura is 

kouralilly 

and Spaceship... 

well, he's 

Spaceship

Questions to ask your Fish Extender Group

The basics

A Fish Extender Group is a gift exchange on a Disney Cruise Ship. 

Outside of each stateroom on Disney's ships, there's a small decorative fish that opens up to reveal a mini mailbox where the crew can leave you notices for things like your spa treatments or dinner reservations at Remy or Palo. Gift exchange fans have started hanging Fish Extenders (or "FEs", for short) from the fish in order to provide more space for gifts to be left at their room. You can find tutorials on how to sew your own FE or you can order from any number of Etsy stores. 

Just make sure you order early!

Click here for my Pinterest Board of Fish Extender Ideas.

This is my favorite tutorial because Margaret tells you 

how to adjust to add more pockets as needed. 

I'm not going to give you a full FE tutorial because she did a great job 

with hers and I'd rather cover questions for your group! 

(Check out her YouTube channel for more tutorials)

Click here for Margaret's entire DIY Fish Extender post

Your Fish Extender Group is established before you leave home for your cruise. 

These groups are found on multiple websites: DisBoards, PassPorter, and Facebook Groups that are set up specifically for your sailing date are good places to look. 

Why would you want to participate in a FE?

My kids LOVED doing Fish Extenders during our last Disney Cruise. There are a few times when they may finish dinner early or want to roam about the ship. Delivering Fish Extender gifts is a great use of that time. Every time we came back to our stateroom, the kids eagerly checked the FE to see if they had received any new surprises. We received some pretty fun gifts, but it was just as much fun to prepare the gifts that we delivered. 

If you're the one in charge of planning your Fish Extender Group, 

it can be helpful to ask a few questions.

1. Name/Username 

Some people may not be comfortable giving out their full name, but I encourage it. 

You're goal is to get to know each other. If someone has a hankering to embroider a beautiful pillowcase with our last name on it for us, I'm not going to get in their way! 

I like to include the first names of each person in the stateroom, too.

2. Stateroom number

This seems obvious, but it can be easy to forget. 

Your group needs to know where to deliver their gifts! 

It's nice to include the number of guests in each stateroom, too.

3. Adult or child?

Asking someone's age isn't always the classiest of conversation moves, but it makes sense to know if each person in a stateroom is an adult or if they are a child. If they are a child, it's nice to know their age, too. Our son was 7 months old when we last cruised. Since we disclosed this to our FE group, he didn't receive hard candies or jewelry. He received some great baby gifts that he loved! I'm pretty sure the little Jake & the Neverland Pirates rattle was his favorite. 

4. Allergies

It's become common knowledge that the Disney Cruise ships have soft serve ice cream, 

but few (if any) toppings for said ice cream. 

Knowing if your gift recipients have allergies is a good idea before 

you drop a bag of sprinkles, crushed nuts, and M&Ms into their FE! 

Now that you've covered the basics, 

here are some additional questions that can help promote creativity without ruining anyone's surprise! 

Let your group know that they don't have to answer the rest of the questions, 

but that it's encouraged. 

5. Favorite character

Many FE gifts are handmade. This means that even characters that you can't find in the Disney Store can show up in your FE! Let your group know what you like. 

6. Shoe size 

People make some very cute flip flops.

If you're into flip flops, answer the question.

If you're not, leave it blank!

7. Pin collector?

I am a pin collector.

I have an addiction.

There are huge bags full of "trader" pins in my basement. 

There's a very real chance that I've got a rare pin that I don't care about

and if I know you're a pin collector and you've listed your favorite character, 

I'll leave it in your Fish Extender. 

I gave a full set of Hidden Mickey Pirates of the Caribbean pins to a couple in our group last time.

8. Any public contact you want to share

If people want to share their Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, blog...

Give them a space to do it!

Giving the group the opportunity to get to know one another better

means that they'll be better equipped to give personal, meaningful gifts.

Have you been on a Disney Cruise?

If you've done a FE before, what was your favorite gift?

Tell us in the comments.

I'm going to share one more video because

I LOVE THIS SWEETHEART'S POSITIVE ENERGY!

Enjoy!

Check out her YouTube Channel: orlandox33

7 New Packing Tips

Packing Tips

from our tribe of 6

1. Prioritize

Medical items and shoes that have already been broken in are a priority. 

International outlet adaptors may be a priority for you.
4 of us are women with longer hair, so we prioritize a single curling iron.

6 pairs of pants are not a priority. If things get dire, hit up a 2nd hand shop when you get there and buy a few new clothes. You may find a couple of things you love and want to take home. My eldest daughter has a beautiful blouse from our last trip to Los Angeles. She wears it constantly and it reminds her of our trip. As for everything else...

2. Share books 

Books are heavy.

Choose a book that nobody in your group has read - something that interests all of you. Pass it around rather than packing a separate book for each person! At the end of the trip, if everyone's read it, leave it behind. Put it on a bus bench or a chair in the lobby of your hotel and let someone else find it. You don't need to lug it around with you once everyone's had a chance to enjoy it. Having this kind of "Travel Book Club" will give you all something to talk about on your flight home and it will lighten everyone's load. 

3. Mail stuff home 

This takes a bit of time, so it's more of a last resort. If you're going to be away from home for 2 weeks or longer, it's wonderful to get to the point where you can start mailing home boxes of dirty laundry that you don't want to lug home in your bags. Just remember that unless your hotel has a mail service, you're going to have to arrange for pick up or take a trip to the post office in order to make this work. 

4. Plan do to laundry once a week while you're away

Pack your own detergent.

The Purex 3-in-1 sheets are my favorite.
They lay flat and can be tossed into your luggage in a large Ziploc bag or small wetbag.

Long trips are our specialty, but we don't pack enough clothing to last us for more than a week. That would be heavy and ridiculous! Most hotels or cruise ships have a laundromat. If yours doesn't, find a local laundromat and go spend a couple of hours there. It'll save you tons of luggage space and you'll get to wear your favorite outfit twice as much on vacation! Laundry time is a great time to catch up on reading or responding to the emails you've been avoiding. If you've got kids, let one adult take them swimming while the other does the laundry.

5. Each person does not need their own bag

In fact, each person shouldn't have all of their stuff in one bag. 

If you have your own bag, you will inevitably feel required to fill it. You don't need all of that stuff and you're going to lament that you should have packed less when you're lugging it to and from the bag check at the airport. Even worse, let's imagine for a second that your bag gets lost. If every single item you packed was in a single bag, you're going to have a miserable time. Each person you're traveling with should have at least one outfit in each bag your group is checking. Swimsuits should be in your carry-on bag. If you're taking a cruise, you may want to lounge at the pool while you're waiting for your checked bags to arrive in your stateroom. This is much easier if your swimwear is in your carry-on! You'll avoid the crowds by getting to the pool while everyone else is waiting for their swimwear to arrive. 

6. Do not buy trinkets you won't use

I don't take jewelry with me when I travel.

$8; street market in the south of Costa Rica

If anything, I tend to trade out my wedding ring for a plain silver band so I can leave my nice ring at home. Do I accessorize when I travel? Absolutely. I opt to buy a couple of nice accessories each time a travel. I don't buy many souvenirs. Our family doesn't believe in buying dust collecting items. If you'll use it, bring it home. If you won't, don't. Our favorite travel finds have been our ukulele (from a music shop in Maui, not from a trinket vendor) and some fun percussive instruments from all over the world. I love my jewelry from various places. I try to find one of a kind items. They make wonderful conversation pieces. I have been asked countless times where I found a piece of jewelry that I scooped up for less than $25 at a foreign marketplace. One of my goals for our day in Colombia later this year is to find a special neck tie and tie clip for my husband. Maybe your priority is kitchenware (handmade cocktail forks, anyone? One of a kind appetizer plates?) or frames for photographs. It could be a pair of beautiful shoes or some spices. Invest in what you will USE! 

Remember: If it's just going to sit around and collect dust, don't let it take up precious luggage space!

7. Wet bags

Luggage saving organizational wonders.

Can you tell that I prefer Planet Wise bags?
Planet Wise and Monkey Foot are the only two brands I trust.
They don't get ruined the first time you wash them.

I organize everything I can into wet bags when we travel. My first introduction to wet bags was when I adopted cloth diapering. They quickly became a staple in my life. They're like heavy duty, washable Ziploc bags! I use a small wet bag for my cosmetics; if something bursts, it doesn't end up all over our luggage. I use a small wet bag to separate any hygiene products for my kids; the bags aren't see-through so nobody gets embarrassed grabbing their bag from the luggage. The variety of available designs ensures that no two bags have to look alike! Going on a day trip? Throw your sunscreen in a wet bag. Going swimming? Bring a big one so you can haul everyone's wet stuff back to your room without dripping everywhere. I even use one to line my backpack during hikes. If everything inside gets gross, the backpack is still clean. You'll fall in love with wet bags. 

What are your favorite packing tips?
If you enjoyed this post, please share it. 

18 Creative Calorie Burners

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. More importantly, I am not YOUR doctor. This post is here to help me answer the questions I get about how I lost all the weight I lost previously. It is not intended to replace the guidance or advice of a weight loss professional or medical advisor. Talk to your doctor before starting or changing your fitness routine, diet, or physical goals. 

18 Creative Calorie Burners

Let's face it: Doing the same old workout 

day in and day out gets boring. 

Even worse, your body can get used to it

and start adjusting so you don't burn 

as many calories after a while!

Switch it up! 

1. Trampoline park

2. Rock climbing 

3. Horseback riding 

4. Aerial dance or aerial yoga 

5. Bikram (hot) yoga 

6. Archery 

7. Fencing (sword fighting) 

8. Pole dancing 

9. Surfing (If you live inland, check to see if there's a FlowRider indoor surfing location near you!) 

10. Belly dancing, hip hop, or any other dance you've been wanting to try! Quite often, Jazzercise studios will do free week long trials. 

11. Golf (Skip the golf cart!) 

12. Swimming 

13. Martial Arts 

14. (Ice) skating 

15. Paintball 

16. Laser tag 

17. Bubble soccer or kickball 

18. Build an obstacle course (What better way to use those Resistance Bands that you've gotten sick of?) 

What's your favorite workout?

Weight Loss Rewards that ARE NOT FOOD!

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. More importantly, I am not YOUR doctor. This post is here both to help me hold myself accountable and to answer the questions I get about how I lost all the weight I lost previously. It is not intended to replace the guidance or advice of a weight loss professional or medical advisor. Talk to your doctor before starting or changing your fitness routine, diet, or physical goals. 

In 2006, I lost my Dad to a stage 4 inoperable glioma - a brain tumor. I gave myself 6 months to wallow and grieve in whatever way I saw fit, and that was it. When I came out of that 6 month tunnel, I found that I had gained a lot of weight. On January 1, 2007, my weight hit an all time high: 304 lbs. In the 3 years that followed, I lost nearly 90 lbs through diet, exercise, and accountability provided by my local Weight Watchers.

My life changed in 2011. Things got rough and I couldn't keep up. I started eating to compensate. Now we're in 2016 and I've reached a new all time high weight: 315.4 lbs. I will be documenting the process as I follow my past steps to lose the weight and reclaim my health once and for all.

First step: Goal Setting. 

This was a huge part of my original success.

I choose goals that are attainable for me. 

Over the years, I've figured out which things are road blocks for me. 

Parties and buffets are a big trouble spot for me because 

I have a tough time tracking what I'm eating in such circumstances. 

If I know I'm working toward a reward that is far better than the food in front of me,

 I track what I'm eating and it isn't a problem. 

Maintenance is an oft forgotten accomplishment. 

Just because you reached your goal doesn't mean you're done. 

It definitely doesn't mean you should stop celebrating your success!

Now that we know our goals, 

let's move on to planning rewards for success! 

Rewards do NOT have to be food

I'm a big fan of rewards that don't have calories. 

Rewards that have calories usually lead me to eating more 

and more and more - and the rewards aren't beneficial 

to my health. If they were, they wouldn't feel like rewards! 

My ultimate goal is better health. 

Some people are big on only allowing things like 

new running shoes when a certain goal has been 

met, but I'm not a fan of that and I'll tell you why: 

Sometimes you need those tools in order to reach 

the next goal. Don't deny yourself a tool that 

you need to succeed! 

Rewards are important 

I plan lots of different rewards for various 

accomplishments and they wouldn't all fit on the graphic! 

One of my first rewards will be that when I've tracked my food & activity every day for a month, I get to try out Daily Burn. Daily Burn is a fitness video streaming service kind of like Netflix or Hulu. 

They've partnered with Hulu to offer 30 days free. 

I'm eager to try it, but I want to make sure that my head is in the game before I sign up. 

Do you use Daily Burn? Let me know how you like it! 

I intend to reward myself with something from the merch table at the 

Metric concert I'm attending next month! I love sweatshirts, so if there's a good one, 

I'll get the largest size and work toward fitting into it before the weather gets nasty again! 

The same thing will happen this summer with another concert I'm attending! 

2016 is my 6th year volunteering with the Sundance Film Festival, 

so I went ahead an ordered a cute XL shirt to earn, too!

Hot Topic carries super cute nose rings and I'm still wearing the 

jewelry that was put in when my nose was pierced. 

New me, new jewelry! 

New clothes are a necessity when you lose a significant amount of weight. 

These can be like good sneakers - you might actually need them in order 

to reach your goal. That said, you can absolutely reward yourself with 

super cute shoes or a pair of jeans that look stunning on you when you 

reach certain goals! I'm looking forward to lingerie and cosplay options! 

Don't forget new undies for a quick mood boost! 

Haircuts, makeup, and such are great confidence boosters! 

No calories, great feeling. Yes, please. 

Don't forget the value of relaxation items. 

LUSH makes bath bombs that can help you relax sore muscles or get a better night's sleep. 

I'm a big fan of their Softy lotion, too. Perfect for achy feet. 

Trying a new activity can be scary, but it can be a lot of fun, too! 

Among my anticipated rewards: Horseback riding, skydiving, zip-lining, 

taking a pole fitness class, and surfing. If you're like me and don't 

live near an ocean, there may be a FlowRider near you! 

Check FlowRider.com/Installations to find out!

Come up with something you want to try. 

How about rock climbing?  

How many of us find ourselves avoiding cameras 

because of our weight? I know I'm not alone here. 

Try scheduling a photo shoot for yourself or your 

family when you get halfway to your ultimate goal

and when you reach your goal. 

Maybe you'll get a little daring and do a boudoir shoot!

Don't forget to take progress photos of yourself throughout 

your journey so you can look back and see how far you've come! 

Progress pictures kept me going when I would plateau for 

a few weeks. Those weeks are tricky and deceptive. 

It's good to have a plan for how you're going to cope with them. 

Spa Treatments are a wonderful reward! 

I've written before about how much I adore the Sego Lily Day Spa 

here in Utah. Wherever you are, find a place that offers great 

massages, facials, pedicures... whatever you're into. 

Remember that a massage can be a great recovery 

tool after a hard workout.

The last time I lost a significant amount of weight, 

I stopped just short of getting under 200 lbs. 

This time, I won't stop until I hit the goal my doctor 

has set for me: 175 lbs. With this in mind, I'm planning

on getting a "Onederland" tattoo when I break through 

the 200s once and for all! I promise I'll post photos 

once I get there!

I've always wanted to participate in a RunDisney race. 

When I get to 190 lbs, I'm going to do it! 

Your rewards don't have to match mine. Ask yourself what you want and work it out so it's attainable. Almost anything can be worked into a reward. I've been wanting a big, floppy hat from World Market for my gardening days when the summer sun is right in my eyes. You know what? I'm going to get it. I just have to lose 10 lbs first. 

This makes my rewards solid incentives. 

I space things out so that I can get the things I want when I'll want them, 

so long as I'm willing to push just a little harder. 

Keep an eye out for what excites you. 

Maybe it's a special handbag. 

Maybe it's a swimsuit from a company that 

simply doesn't make plus size swimwear. 

(I'm coming for you, Maaji Swimwear!) 

Maybe your best incentive is the allure of a 

trip with friends or family or a Girls Night Out. 

It's all up to you. 

You can do it. 

We'll do it together. 

If you've enjoyed this post, please share it. 

Leave me a comment letting me know which ideas are your favorites

and let me know if you have other ideas that you've used for rewards! 

Update: It took me a little while to get this one posted. I've already lost 3.8 lbs!

I'm excited to start reaching my goals and earning non-food rewards!

January 2016 Update

It's been awhile since I regularly attended to this blog. I could say that I'm sorry, or I could accept that I started this blog with the intention of living my life differently, more fully, and that I have kept to that goal. So I'm not sorry.

JANUARY 2016 UPDATE

In the time that I've been gone, my health has had ups and downs including a nasty surgery nearly a month ago. Plantar fasciia, tarsal tunnel, bone spur removed, and some nerve issues fixed up - all in my right foot. This surgery led to the inevitable choice to drop all of my college courses and start focusing on my health and my family more vigilantly. 

It also led to bed rest. 

Bed rest leads to movies. 

Apparently. 

My instagram is @Ctarkeshian - just in case you want to see how 

the movie list ends and how my #2016ReadingList is coming along. 

I'm getting better. I'll be speaking at FanX (hosted by Salt Lake Comic Con) this March about my work with HitRECord - Joseph Gordon Levitt's production company. I've been working with HitRECord for almost 2 years now and I was included in the Season 2 episode, "Re: Your Mom". 

My weight has not gone down, so that's another thing I plan to tackle in 2016 with the help of my new gym; Lifetime Fitness. 

This summer our family plans to embark on a new travel adventure: A Panama Canal Repositioning Cruise on the Disney Wonder! We've been working toward this goal for nearly 3 years and WE ARE EXCITED! 

Stay tuned. 

More new posts are on their way! 

I'm back.

Dear Children: About that photo you found...

This is me. 

March 1998. 

Age 14.

I was traveling with a school group and without my parents.

This photo was taken in a bar in San Ignacio, Mexico. 

The fur ball on my lap is a rented chihuahua named Peaches. 

I have a feeling the chihuahua isn't the part you have questions about. 

You see, children, I had a pretty full life before I became your mother. I had my rebellious phase just like you will. I did things that I probably shouldn't have; things like hanging out at a bar in the middle of a foreign country when I was too young to even have a driver's license. Things like dyeing my hair blonde (look close... it's there and it's horrible). Things like watching movies that were way too grown up for me just because some stupid guy said I wouldn't and another stupid guy dared me to.

But it's not as bad as it sounds and it wasn't as bad as it looks at first glance. You'll never find any revenge porn of me. You'll never have to ask me about any photos showing me black-out drunk. This is because there aren't any. My questionable juvenile behavior went mostly undocumented in part because there wasn't all that much to document. This is probably the worst of it. 

Look at the table behind me, kids. That's a glass Pepsi bottle. Not beer. That was a choice I made. That chihuahua we rented? She belonged to the bartender's son. They were very poor and our Spanish wasn't great. We couldn't figure out the word for "rent" so we offered to buy the kid's dog for what would have translated to roughly $5 in US dollars at the time. He loved that dog, but his family needed the money. We were all homesick and looking for the comfort of a dog in lieu of being able to be with our own families and pets. When we were ready to leave town, we returned the dog, which we had named Peaches. The little boy offered to give us our money back but we refused to take any of it. We were rebellious, but not jerks. We weren't cruel. We wanted to do good things and to help people.

Children, if you can be rebellious without be destructive or cruel, and if you can keep goodness in your heart while you do it, go ahead an be rebellious. You've got my blessing. (Just don't expect me to remember that when you're neck deep in it.) Please remember that when I was younger, we didn't have social media. We didn't have cell phones with cameras. Most of us were lucky if we had a Polaroid that we used once in a while - mostly for family reunions or other parties. You may not have the luxury of keeping all your mistakes secret. Remember that when you're trying to decide if a mistake is worth making.

I love you,

Mom